Looking Up

Things are getting better!

I'm so glad to be almost done school. My exam is from 8:30 to 11:30 tomorrow morning, and then I am finished! I'm quite excited.

And even better, things are going to get better food-wise. I had a really long talk with my mom about how I couldn't be forced into recovery, and I had to be allowed to struggle on my own, and all of that. So she's going to stop commenting on my eating and weight, and stay out of things. It's terrible how excited I am, but this means I won't have to keep eating! I can stop eating altogether, and if I don't make it glaringly obvious, I'll be able to get away with it! I'm glad. I'm going to try to lose as much weight as possible! Especially if I don't have to go to treatment. It would be so nice to spend the summer being thin and wearing bathing suits and all that. I hope I lose weight, I really do! I feel like I'm doomed to this weight forever, but I am sure as hell going to try to lose.

Today I ate a lot... I've been eating a lot all weekend. Of course. My mom has been watching. I might eat a bit in the morning, so I have thinking power for my exam. But then, it's starvation time! Finally!! I hate having to eat.

I'm so glad things are finally looking up.