I Can't Control Myself

I don't know what happened... I suddenly got a massive craving for Crunchy Cheetos, which I have never even liked before, so I went to the vending machine and bought a bag and ate it all and that's 330 calories and I am trying really hard to resist but I think I'm going to walk over to the store and buy a full-sized bag and eat it all and maybe I will get more food while I'm there! What is wrong with me!? Why can't I control myself anymore? I don't want to do it but oh my god I want to so badly, I want to binge binge binge!!!

UPDATE: I controlled myself, thank god. I'm still disgusting from that bag of Cheetos, and I've had another bottle of gingerale, so I'm pretty much around 500 calories for the day, which is insane. But it's okay. I have to learn to forgive myself. It was disgusting, but things happen. Next time, I'll read this right away:

 

It always helps me. I just read it, and it stopped me from going to eat anymore. I also wrote it down in my book, a big book of thinspiration and quotes and ideas on how to distract myself. I'm supposed to read it before I eat, no matter what, but sometimes cravings hit me and I eat without thinking. But from now on, I'm going to do my best to read the whole book, no matter what.

Okay, I'm going to go study more for French, and try not to be too disgusted with the feeling of Cheetos sitting in my stomach, being absorbed into my stomach, adding pounds and fat and making my whole body squishy and disgusting... Ugh. The whole thing just makes me feel sick. Maybe I should go out for a cigarette to relax in the warm weather. But there are people out there, and I hate going out when other people are out there...

Whatever. I'll study. If I freak out too much, and I really need to relax, I'll go for a smoke.

And here are some photos, to keep me on track. (More spring photos ― this time with a bit of a sunset theme, since it's dark outside now).